Column the war reporter: of all times to go on strike?

Der Spiegel" focuses on the Iraq war, "Zeit Online" wants a piece of currywurst and "Tagesschau" shows how social media works.

Rainer Esser, managing director of "Zeit," could imagine a "Zeit" currywurst stand. Will the online staff get a piece? Photo: dpa

Hello taz media editors! I think we can breathe a sigh of relief. The time of helplessness seems to be over. There are clear, very clear signs on the horizon of where the journalistic journey could go, what the reader wants.

The 66-year Spiegel circulation analysis, which is now available, clearly shows that Spiegel is successful when it has Kennedy and the Iraq war on the cover. Repeating these successes should not be a problem, since the Kennedys have multiplied like the Hapsburgs and their rabbits, and have also produced a staff of comedians drawn from their family genes who keep making it into the press.

Or the Iraq war. Grad none running? No problem. Let’s ask Putin, he’s sure to get one going quickly. With Donald Trump, also a kind of inherited damage, it will take a while.

Or let’s take Die Zeit. It’s celebrating its 70th anniversary these days and is thus entering the attractive age of old age. And because they know in the newly named "Helmut Schmidt House" that resting equals rusting, they are open to all horizons and, according to managing director Rainer Esser, can even imagine a "Zeit curry sausage stand.

Sylt truffle mayo

If the quality is right, he says. Logo. In Hamburg, that means horses instead of pigs and French fries with Sylt truffle mayo. A "Zeit Online curry sausage stand" is also conceivable, so that people who, like the Zeit Online staff, earn far less money than their print colleagues, can also buy their children a curry snack.

An online sausage like this should be quick and tasty, made from the leftover ham that is left on the plates at the Italian restaurant for lunch, and with plenty of spices. Yes, unfortunately, unfortunately, the online asses are screwing up the 70-year party a bit.

For years, they’ve been fighting for equal financial treatment with their print colleagues – and now, of all times, when the streamers are hanging so nicely, they’re doing stupid things like going on strike and polluting the public with their expressions of displeasure. But they are not the only ones who find reason to complain. Former Zeit author Kuno Kruse noted in a text on the anniversary: There is no more whisky during the conferences.

With such or similar conditions, you really don’t have to be surprised when journalists write speeches here and there or a colleague from the AfD world throws himself at the AfD as a consultant. "Only 4,000 euros, I’ll do it for 4,000 euros! Full of great advice, with a wide range of colors in the tie assortment!" And I thought only the taz paid at form ham level.

Award for "journalism far removed from patriarchy

Colleague Anna-Mareike Krause showed how women understand modernity. The social media coordinator of tagesschau.de captioned a photo thus: "Chancellor Merkel met today with the internationally renowned human rights lawyer Amal Clooney […]. Clooney came accompanied by her husband, an actor."

It is a nice result that the photo was enthusiastically received on the Internet. Another would be an award for "patriarchy-free journalism," which someone could set up. The Association of German Newspaper Publishers, for example.

Or Pro Quote. Unfortunately, the power of the man catches up with us very quickly: In the photo, the husband is talking, the human rights activist is sitting silently next to him. That was also noticeable in the Tagesschau. Only, there was no other. Screeching, screaming and kicking down the photographer’s door back to Berlin!

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